Groundhog Day

It is a beautiful Saturday afternoon. For once, the skies are clear and the temperature is a perfect mix of what I like to call "shady warmth".

So why am I indoors, nursing a sniffly nose and feeling utterly despondent about my life?

I would like to blame PMS but deep down, I know it's more serious than that. I think, this is one of those random life-evaluating moments where the parts don't add up to a satisfactory result. In short, I think I'm lacking.

1. Career
Being a creature of habit and a detester of the unknown, I am extremely uncomfortable that my future lies in the hands of a rather fickle client. I admit that knowing the score now is tons better than the "terrible wait" period, but I guess on the other hand, everything becomes more REAL now.

I know that I'm over-worrying again because my choices are wide and I should be enjoying this break instead of obsessing too much if I am turning into a useless lump. C was only one option to begin with and it should still be that way. It just irks me that my life is not within my control. And I'm a huge control freak. I can't help it, it's in my genetic make-up. Mercury probably approached the Mars at an awkward, 150-degree link and Virgo landed on Uranus when I was born, hence I developed an anal-retentive behaviour.

2. Skills
Gasp, I don't have any!!!

Some people are born artists, others sing like sirens. Me? I can't paint, sing very well, cook like Remy the rat or dance like J Lo. Geez, I can't even paint my own toenails.

I can, however, think. My bosses say that I have excellent and astute thought processes and I possess a great deal of common sense. Statistically then, I'm a part of at least 80% of the world's population, the remaining 20% being made up by citizens below 10 years of age or denizens of various mental homes. Rejoice, I say!

3. Household chores

I don't know how to...
a) Work a washing machine
b) Cook perfect rice
c) Spring clean without throwing away half the house

I do know how to...
a) Work the SCV remote
b) Delegate household chores
c) Wrangle free ironing out of my mum
d) Cook instant noodles and other canned foods with soggy rice

This is getting extremely depressing. I may start hitting the bottle soon if I don't stop.

Why couldn't Mercury have hit the Moon and Virgo land on something else instead? Mars, perhaps? They say the view from there is heaps better.

Location: the bf's home
Current Condition: severely neurotic
Music: the distance