http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mood_swing

My valiant attempts at controlling my mood swings have failed me once again.

I woke up this morning feeling rather sleepy from the arduous activities the day before. Sleepy but not grumpy , mind you. Mid-way through the morning, I just felt a prickle and then I snapped at the unsuspecting boyfriend over the phone about some plans for today. I started feeling hot under the collar about nothing in particular and even killing three Stouts at Bamboo Mountain didn't do anything to soothe my frayed nerves.

So when I found myself slamming my mouse in anger when my character died at the hands of the Master who had crept up behind me, I realised that I was in the middle of a mood swing.

The thing is, I'm generally a non-confrontational person, which is why I love RPG cos I get to vent all my anger in cyber space. So I hate losing my composure, plus my own mood swings unrattle me... that is, I get moments of sobriety in the midst of them and I actually realise that I'm being childish and terribly unreasonable. But the obstinate mule somewhere in me refuses to back down, so I end up having this internal tussle about

(1) carrying on in my angry/moody/frustrated/bitchy/unreasonable/depressive state of mind because it's feels good

and,

(2) pulling myself together with a good hard slap (metaphorically speaking, that is) because no one likes to be around a snappy/spoilt/maniacal/gloomy cow and I would have to apologise later, which is something I absolutely hate to do

I have no words to describe how awful that is. I have asked around and none of my girlfriends have the same problem. They don't discover a pricking conscience in the midst of their no-holds-barred, anger-fuelled rampage. They just rear up in full female glory in the manner of "I am a woman, and I have mood swings, so hear me roar" and they let it rip. I can only imagine that must be very satisfying. The guilt does hit afterwards but apparently it's a lot easier to do a wide-eyed, "was that really me?" apology then because you've already let it all out.

Sometimes I think I'm half male.

And writing always makes things better. I forget that at times.

By the way, we did manage to catch Ratatouille last evening and it was fabulous! But I'm not going to do justice to it right now so reviews in my next mood-swing-free post.

Grovelling time now.