Bring it on

Friday night and I'm still bashing out furiously on my computer. Things are really not making sense to me right now. My work has come alive and has wrapped its talons firmly around me. I am being held hostage by my PC. The only consolation I have is that I managed to get out of the office to do my work in peace and tranquility.

I never thought of myself as a coward but today, things came to such heights that I bundled all my files and scurried out of the office. SCURRIED. I just wanted to get the hell of out there. The atmosphere was oppressive. I thought I was going to vomit bile at the sheer stupidity and insecurity of mankind. How can people be so myopic and power-hungry? Geez, its bad enough that we have to work the hours we do, let's not make it worse for ourselves by creating a warzone.

The boyfriend thinks that I have been too nice. The boss is puzzled at my unusual mild-ness. I can feel the monster in me surging forth each time we come into contact and I have to firmly push it back into recesses it came from. My rationale is simple - I want to forge a professional environment that is filled with mutual respect. But my mum was right - respect doesn't come with the rank, it has to be earned.

So no more Lil Miss Nice.

Don't hold a dagger to my back with a bright smile to my face. Lets just bear our teeth and come clean with the people we really are deep inside. At the end of it all, I just want to be able to justify that I tried playing nice. I really did. I turned the other cheek and all that. I'm all out of cheeks now. I'm all out of niceties as well. From here, it's going to be the real me who doesn't give a rat's ass about anything but getting the job done. My sweet nature had a time limit and you, my friend, have used it all up.

I suppose it's easy to mistake me as a sweet young thing who doesn't know any better cos I was keeping my head down and trying to step up with everything else. And from where I'm coming from, I just want to get the job done. It's not too late to wisen up and work together with me. I am not a childish person, I don't hold grudges, just take a chill pill and let's get this show on the road.

Still I can't force anyone's hand. Que sera sera, is all I can say. From hereon, I'm just gonna be me. The one my ex-staff lovingly called bitchy lou, lou at work and many other affectionate nicknames. Take it or stuff it. And if this has to become a war zone, I can only say "more fool you". But don't, please don't foolishly assume that I'm going to back down. I didn't get to where I am today by being a girl next door.

BRING IT ON

Location: sanctuary
Current Condition: heck
Music: alicia keys